Friday, March 13, 2015

Trusting in Him

I used to cringe at the thought of homeschooling my children.  You know the stereotype.  Non-social, highly religious, clog wearing weirdo's.  I was terrified to be labeled one of these things.  Although my husband's family was homeschooled up until their wonderful mother passed away, I never would have known that they were homeschooled.  They were VERY social, outgoing, funny and fun to be around.  But maybe they weren't the "norm".

We get so caught up it close-minded non sense.  People love to judge something they know nothing about, right?  That's how the world turns.

As soon as we had children, my husband asked me if I would homeschool.  My answer:  "Heck no! Are you crazy?"  I said this for 5 years....

Well, once it was time for my daughter to begin kindergarten, I was in a panic!  I was still refusing to homeschool, but was unwilling to place her in public school.  My experience in public school was one I wouldn't want my child to experience.   Disclaimer: Now, please hear me.  That does NOT mean that people shouldn't send their child to public school.  I am not judging anyone's choices.  This was MY personal struggle.

I was a stay at home mom.  My husband was a youth minister at the time, so you can imagine, there wasn't much money rolling in.  So, I took 2 part-time jobs, solely to pay for my daughter to go to private school.  It was great! Up until I never saw her.   Here's a peak into how our day looked: I woke her up at 6:30a.m so she could shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and then we would drive to school 25 minutes away so we could get there by 8:00a.m. Once I dropped her off, I would drop my husband off at work, then drive 25 minutes to my job.  My father-in-law would then pick up my son from my work and take him to school, because my job started 10 minutes before he was allowed to be there. Once I got off work at my first job, I would then go to my second job, 2 days a week.  On the days I didn't work both jobs, I would get as much done as humanly possible before I had to pick up my daughter, then my son, then take my daughter to ballet, then pick up my husband.  Finally, we were home, but the kids were fast asleep.  I would make dinner and once it was ready, I would wake the kids.  Now that dinner was over, it was time to do homework.  Frankly, I was surprised that my 5 year old had homework and my 7 year old had so much homework he would be in tears by the time we finished.  Now it was time for 30 minutes of hanging out as a family then time for bed....  Are you exhausted yet?

30 minutes??? Are you kidding me??!!

I couldn't accept the fact that I was only getting 30 minutes of quality time with my children.  Rushing, hustling, and pushing them around was not how I wanted to spend the next 13 years.   I had a serious "come to Jesus" moment.  I dove into everything homeschool.  I had to research and pick it apart before I could accept the fact that I was even considering homeschooling! This was a huge decision and a complete lifestyle change.

The things I was most fearful of was, "How am I going to teach my child how to read?" "Is my child going to have any friends?" "Am I going to be able to give my child a good education?"

After a lot of prayer and talking with other families, we made the decision to homeschool!  It has been one of the best decisions we've ever made.

Guess what?! My child is and always has been extremely outgoing.  She is my social butterfly.  She has lots of friends!  Friends from church, friends from Classical Conversations (a homeschool program 1 day a week) and randoms BFF's when we walk into Chic-Fil-A!   I taught her how to read and write, how to add, subtract and multiply.  I was jumping for joy that this was actually happening.

All the fears and uncertainties came from not knowing anything about it! The fear also came from placing such a huge decision on myself alone.  The first thing I should have done was gone to God.  He is the author of life.  He is the beginning and the end.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:11-13

We always place fear in the unknown.  Whether its moving to a new place, getting a new job, trying something we never in a million years thought we'd do.

What step are you afraid of taking in your life?  Is it whether or not to homeschool?  Taking that leap to becoming your own boss? Switching jobs?  It could be any number of things.

I like the saying, "Before you go to the phone, go to the throne." The Lord knows what you need.  He knows the desires of your heart.  He knows what is best for your family.  Trust in Him.